Thursday, April 24, 2008


My hcg was 5. Which means a negative. The office wants me stop my estrace and PIO and have it redrawn next week to make sure it gets back down to 0.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A new day, a new freak out (8dpt)

So, here is a recap of my past 24 hours. DS got kicked in the ankle at soccer practice, we spent 3 hours in the pediatric urgent care, didn't get home until 11pm. I had to teach a class today, so there was no way I could call off work. Sent DS to my SIL this morning. Got up early to go to work, took pee test(from the dollar tree), couldn't see a line. Decided to stop by walmart, just to pick up a more expensive brand, so that may give me what I want to see. Locked my keys in my car at walmart, at 0615 am. Had to call my husband, wake him up to come unlock me. Took new test, also negative. However, as the day has went on, a very, very, faint line appeared. Tried to take a picture of it and other sticks. Line is too faint to show up in pictures. But here is one from this morning anyway?

So, what does this mean? I pray that it does not mean a nonviable pregnancy, but that is what I fear it means all at the same time. My beta is in the am. However, if anyone has any stories to tell of extremely faint positives at CD 28, 8dp6dt I could really use some encouragement right now.
Thanks for everyones well wishes.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A very faint line (7dpt)

Because I am a crazy, OCD woman, I dug yesterday morning's test out of the trash when I got home from work yesterday (just in case). And swore that if I held it just right, I could maybe see the faintest of faint lines. So I took another one, and again swore I could maybe just kinda see a faint, faint line. This morning, I took another with FMU, and it's definitely there. It's faint, but there is no doubt that it is there. But it's SO faint that now I'm worried about that. The couple who donated these embryos did get pregnant with this batch, but it ended up being a chemical pregancy. What if that is what is happening for me? I know that only time will tell, but I am FREAKING out about that now. But, for now, there is a faint line. Beta in two more days!

Sunday, April 20, 2008


I'm an idiot. I told myself I was going to wait until morning of beta to POAS. But, no..... I went to the dollar tree on Friday and bought 7. That's right s.e.v.e.n. At the dollar tree ( I couldn't even spring for the good ones????) And started peeing like a mad woman, Friday evening. Not even FMU. And of course, negative. Saturday morning, this morning, negative, negative, negative.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


Well, here I am, over 48 hours post transfer. And my transfer feels like it was 300 years ago. I'm so anxious to know if it worked or not. I had today off from work too, but I go back tomorrow. I did some very light yard work (watered some flowers and pulled some weeds), did more homework, did some light house work and a dear friend came over to visit. It has been the longest day ever. I even made a home made loaf of bread.
My boobs are still sore and this afternoon I've been sick to my stomach. What does this tell me? That PIO are a bi*ch... Seriously, it's way to early for the symptoms to be attributable to anything else. Isn't it? Oh how I hope the next week goes quickly, more so than the past 48 hours.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


I stayed laying down most of the day yesterday, but now, I am BORED! It's not even 10 and I have made myself a oatmeal (the old fashioned kind) ate, cleaned up the kitchen, done two loads of laundry (didn't lift anything heavy), read 4 chapters of my book, and taken a shower. I've got homework to work on, so that's my plan for this afternoon. I only have four days left of my estrace, so I called in my refill for that. My butt hurts (PIO) and boobs are really tender, but that started before the transfer (also the PIO's). My abdomen feels bloated this morning, and if I concentrate really hard, I'm maybe a little crampy. Of course, it could all be in my head. I had one time last night and once this morning that there was the slightest tinge of pink on the tissue when I wiped. But, the doc said that he transfered some growing medium in before the embryos and that it was pink, so I might notice some pink. Why wouldn't they make that sort of thing a different color, so that there is no mistaking it for bleeding. Would it really be so hard to make it green instead?
So, I'm now back off to the couch and my book for more laying down time. Please stick babies, please grow.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Transfer Day

My transfer today went well. Both embryos survived the thaw. One was a grade 1.5, the other a 2.0. The 2.0 wasn't fully re-expanded in this picture. I've tried to stay fairly horizontal today, but I've been up to the bathroom a lot. The transfer was very uncomfortable, just because of my bladder. I even relieved myself a little 3 times before the transfer began, but I obviously drank too much water.
I have my beta on April 24th. I don't know if I will POAS before then. I'm terrified of the answer. But for now, for today, I am pregnant with two little babies. Stick little babies, stick.

Monday, April 14, 2008

CD 19 (AKA the Night Before)

Tomorrow is the day. The past two months since we hit the top of the list as passed so quickly. I pray my ice babies thaw safely and find a nice warm haven in the lining of my uterus.
I'll let you all know tomorrow how it goes.

Sunday, April 13, 2008


I had my u/s Thursday, and my uterine linging was 11mm. Dr. H assured me that was "great" but of course I came home and consulting dr. google as well. And now I'm freaked out because apparently there is something called a "triple stripe" lining that a person should have before transfer that Dr. H said nothing about. Sigh, what's a girl to do. I'm freaked about everything right now. Started my PIO's Thursday morning also, and oh my goodness does my behind hurt. I have bruises from each shot, and I feel like I have climbed 1,000,000 stair steps. I try to relax the muscle, I use the heat pad, I make my husband massage, but it still hurts. Not even so much when it goes in, but the aftermath...
Only two more day, two more days until it is out of all of our hands and into God's hands. What if it doesn't work? We've tried to limit who we told about, but most people that we work with know. How else do you take so many days off in the middle of a HUGE project at work without explaining to people why? So, if it doesn't work, how do I tell everyone? How do I live with it, knowing full well DH and I agreed that this is the last chance?
I am obsessed with this cycle. Even yesterday at the grocery store, I bought a gallon of milk with an expiration date of 4/25 and thought "by the time this milk expires, we will know if it worked." That's certifiably crazy.

Monday, April 7, 2008


I woke up this morning in my typical am haze, sat down to give myself my lupron, and freaked out when I saw I only gad 5 needles left. Then I realized, I only have 3 days of lupron left to give myself, because my u/s is THIS Thursday!!! Only 8 days left until transfer (providing everything goes as scheduled). From where I had to work so much last week, and so much of it nightshift (72 hours in 7 days), I had totally lost track of time. I can't believe it is right here around the corner. In some ways, I am so excited, but a very real portion of myself is dreading it. Dreading finding out the answer to whether this works or not. Dreading paying a loan payment 4 times a year for the next five years if it doesn't work. I'm just very scared.
Speaking of the 2ww, I'm wishing the best for my friend Miss. Stop over and wish her luck!
I'll let you know how Thursday goes!