Thursday, July 26, 2007

Day Nine Post op

I haven't had any pain in several days. But goodness, I am tired all the time. Tommy had football conditioning last night, and all I did was just sit there for two hours. But by the time I got home, I was exhausted.
I just wish I could hurry up and recover. I'm ready to move on with my life. Just as soon as I figure out what it is I want. I want a baby so badly, but is it wrong to adopt when it feels like second place prize? And it's not like I have a ton of time. I know that I'm only 27 and dear husband is only 30, but it's not like we are getting in younger. And Tommy is 10!!!! At this rate, he might be in highschool by the time he gets a sibling.
Am I being selfish wanting another child? I have a good life, a good husband, a wonderful child, a job that pays me more than I am worth, a house that keeps me warm and safe. Is it too much to ask for another child? Is this punishment for mistakes I made in my early twenties? When I get upset, the phrase "it's not fair" spins through my head. But maybe it really is karma biting me in the ass.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

A new chapter in my life

Well, I had my surgery last week ( one week ago today actually). Dr. Hofmann said that things looked even worse than he thought they would, but that he and Dr. Barnes (the oncologist) had gotten things cleaned up pretty well. My ovary was stuck on one side to my small bowel and on the other side to my uterus. Between removing it from those things and removing the large endometrioma, I now am the proud owner of 10% of my ovary. Meaning, I will never produce eggs again. Meaning I will never have another biological child of my own. And probably will have menopause now.
So I am healing pretty well physically. I haven't had to take anything for pain for three days now. And last night I was able to sleep on my side for the first time since then. I had a pretty large blood loss and I feel really tired each day. I'm down to about one nap a day.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Preop appt.

It seems ridiculous, but I had my pre-op appt. yesterday. Preop, surgery, post-op. Pre-op, surgery, post-op. I'm caught up in a vicious cycle :) My laparotomy is on Tuesday. I'm getting pretty nervous, but I'm hanging in okay.

In crazy news, my best friend is 29 wks. pregnant. She has a three year old daughter. At her 20 wk u/s she found out she was having another girl. This week, she had an u/s to check her fluid level, and they found a PENIS!!! She's having a boy! We are all so excited for her, but she's got a lot of stuff, including a pink carseat, to take back!

We put Parker, our toy poodle, in our pop up pool over the weekend and he loved it! He just swam circle after circle.
The dog has really become my "baby".