I haven't had any pain in several days. But goodness, I am tired all the time. Tommy had football conditioning last night, and all I did was just sit there for two hours. But by the time I got home, I was exhausted.
I just wish I could hurry up and recover. I'm ready to move on with my life. Just as soon as I figure out what it is I want. I want a baby so badly, but is it wrong to adopt when it feels like second place prize? And it's not like I have a ton of time. I know that I'm only 27 and dear husband is only 30, but it's not like we are getting in younger. And Tommy is 10!!!! At this rate, he might be in highschool by the time he gets a sibling.
Am I being selfish wanting another child? I have a good life, a good husband, a wonderful child, a job that pays me more than I am worth, a house that keeps me warm and safe. Is it too much to ask for another child? Is this punishment for mistakes I made in my early twenties? When I get upset, the phrase "it's not fair" spins through my head. But maybe it really is karma biting me in the ass.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I'm glad to hear you're recovering from your surgery.
And no its not selfish to want another child, not in the least. You are going through a lot not only physically but emotionally and it may take some deep soul searching to figure out what your next step in life will be (to adopt, or not.) And please don't blame this on yourself for anything that you did in your past, nothing you did is worth taking your fertility away. So don't consider it a punishment, try to see it as a test of faith. You're right, "Its not fair" but its something that you will learn from and grow from.
I will continue to pray for understanding to light your way.
Hugs,
Jennie
Post a Comment