DH and I were a Walmart this morning when we ran into his parents. And of course, they wanted to stand in the aisle and chat for twenty minutes. So, a few minutes into the conversation, my MIL turns and says to me "BIL and SIL keeping telling me all about the baby names they are picking. They must be pretty confident about this pregnancy". Now, I have talked with BIL and SIL about the names they have picked out. And I am 95% thrilled for them that this pregnancy is progressing so well after their past two miscarriages. But EVERYTIME I see MIL, she wants to talk to me about SIL and show me the tiny baby clothes she bought for them. I feel like she is rubbing it in my face. I'm not sure how to bring it up, but I am going to have to have a talk with her about it soon, otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to flip out on her. After we finished talking with them in Walmart, I had to go to the bathroom and cry for a few minutes before I could continue.
On a happy note, our new next door neighbors Diana and Shane got married today in a beautiful wedding. Diana and I used to work together on L&D, so I'm really excited to have them as neighbors.
I found this website off a forum I visit. I think I might send my MIL the link. Anyone have any suggestions for how to talk to her?
Empty Arms
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The "Empty Arms" project is a GREAT way to open one's eyes about the pain of infertility... However if she's anything thing like my MIL she may need a more direct approach (like a swift kiss in the a$$) lol. Nah, but seriously. Have you checked out the Resolve-Nat'l Infertility Assoc website? Its full of really great info, and reading the "Infertility Etiquette" might help. If that doesn't get the point across, then having an heart to heart with your husband about his mom & her over-excitement about her grandbaby-to-be. And if he won't talk to his momma, then you might have to. You DON'T have to continue to be tourtured by her, if all it takes is for it to be pointed out that it hurts you. Yes, you are excited for them, but it still hurts you inside because of what you and your husband are going through. There's nothing wrong with that.
I know how hard it is, I really do. My baby sister had 2 children in 2 years! All within my 3 years of fighting infertility, testing, treatments, corrective & exploritory surgeries, and 3 pregnancy losses... It hurts. And it hurts to the core of your soul. Please, know that you are not alone in your pain. Even though I'm pg, I still hold the painful memories close because it is part of who I am now.
I hope some of this helps...
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