Fifth Grade

Well, first off, I'm feeling much better. Whatever I had the other night, went away.
Today was the first day of 5th grade for my dear son TR. He was so tired and grumpy this morning. Here are the morning pictures:


Note the "Dear Heavens woman, must you take a picture of every damn thing I do!" look on the poor kids face.
But he must have had a good day at school (he's got his latest crush in all his classes) because here is the after school picture:

I can't believe he is in fifth grade this year. And he's ten! Time keeps flying no matter how much I try to slow it down.
We had training today at work and our Meditech specialist was here from Boston. She is all of 23 and just had a birthday last month. She is SO young! It got me thinking about how we started trying for number two when I was 23. And now here I am.
Well, tomorrow is another day, and it will be here soon!

I think I have the flu. Last night I started feeling a little queasy. Took some Motrin this morning because I was achy. Now, this evening, I am freezing, I think I'm gonna hurl, and every muscle in my body aches.
Just wanted to share my misery with my internet friends :)

Clean Up in Aisle Three

DH and I were a Walmart this morning when we ran into his parents. And of course, they wanted to stand in the aisle and chat for twenty minutes. So, a few minutes into the conversation, my MIL turns and says to me "BIL and SIL keeping telling me all about the baby names they are picking. They must be pretty confident about this pregnancy". Now, I have talked with BIL and SIL about the names they have picked out. And I am 95% thrilled for them that this pregnancy is progressing so well after their past two miscarriages. But EVERYTIME I see MIL, she wants to talk to me about SIL and show me the tiny baby clothes she bought for them. I feel like she is rubbing it in my face. I'm not sure how to bring it up, but I am going to have to have a talk with her about it soon, otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to flip out on her. After we finished talking with them in Walmart, I had to go to the bathroom and cry for a few minutes before I could continue.
On a happy note, our new next door neighbors Diana and Shane got married today in a beautiful wedding. Diana and I used to work together on L&D, so I'm really excited to have them as neighbors.
I found this website off a forum I visit. I think I might send my MIL the link. Anyone have any suggestions for how to talk to her?
Empty Arms

An Electronic Health Record

Today I thought I would blog a little about my job. I have been an RN for the past 7 years. Six of those I spent as a labor and delivery nurse and I loved it until it became apparent that I was spending 40 hours with what I want most and can't have rubbed in my face. So, I found a new job. I currently work for my hospital's IT dept in a specialized group that combines your average IT techie people with clinicians. The hope is that this combination will successfully create an enterprise wide electronic health record that will not only improve patient care by creating universal access to information, but also will improve health care by tracking patient outcomes and trends that hospitals need to focus wealth and resources on to keep up with changing winds of healthcare. It's such a big undertaking but also so exciting to be involved on the front end. Currently, the USA is #1 in the world for healthcare spending, but #42 in patient outcomes. Obviously, we have a long way to go.
Do any of you out there work in healthcare?

For a Change

I am going to do something a little different and NOT complain on here. Instead, I am going to list things I am thankful for:
1. My son. This one is a no brainer. He's 10, he's healthy, he's happy. I really couldn't ask for more in life at all.
2. My husband. We've been together 11 of my 27 years. He'a good man, a good father, and he tries really hard.
3. My best friend Candice's pregnancy. She suffered through a horrible miscarriage last fall and is about to have her second child, a little boy!
4. A coworker named S who is about to adopt a baby boy that she found through taking care of his biological Aunt when she was in labor. Her adoption just fell into place and it gives me hope that there is a child out there or soon to come into the world that is meant for me and my husband.
5. Since my surgery, I have not had chronic pelvic pain. And, I'm not in the bathroom every 45 minutes because my ovary is sitting on my bladder.
6. I'm down fifteen pounds to 163 lbs. I haven't been that weight since before I started TTC (over four years ago).


Well, I was going to try to come up with 10, but I feel a little stalled after these six. But it is good to remind myself that there ARE things in my life to be grateful for.

Back to Work

I survived my first two days back to work. I had some momentary dizziness today, but it passed after about half an hour. The big problem now is that I started having hot flashes today. I had a couple of little ones last week but they were so mild I could tell myself that I wasn't really having hot flashes. But today there was NO doubt what they were. And I feel really angry about it. I knew they were probably going to happen, Dr. Hofmann told me over and over (and over) about the risks. But I am still angry. I'm 27 and I don't want to deal with menopause. I know I am having a very immature mentality about it, but I just don't wanna. I called to get into my local gyn doc today to discuss HRT options and they can't see me until Sept And I called our local county children's services to ask for info about adoption through fostering on Monday and have not heard back from her yet. And that makes me angry!!!! I see a trend here :)
I really have been praying about all of this and praying for patience. I hope I can get myself together soon.

Sad but true

I found this "What Country are You?" quiz through my random blog stalking.

You're Afghanistan!

In the words of Bob Dylan, you "haven't known peace and quiet
in so long [you] don't remember what it's like!"  Sad but true.  Boss
after boss has led you around, using you for their nefarious purposes, and dumping you
when the time was right.  You've hurt and been hurt and now you're just sick and tired.
 When will people leave you alone and let you do your own thing?  But you
don't really even know what you want anymore.


Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid

A new option?

I had my post op appt. today. He told me I looked good and I looked like I had lost some weight (I haven't had much of an appetite, but I don't own a scale). He wants me to go back to work next week on Thursday, so I have a short week and then the weekend to recover before I go back for a full week. Makes sense to me I guess. He also brought up the idea of donor eggs again and then mentioned donor embryos. I had never even thought about that. So I consulted my best friend g00gle and did a little research. The cost of donor embyros is significantly less than donor eggs (anywhere from $2500-10,000) which is also cheaper than an international adoption and similar to a domestic adoption. Plus, I would be able to carry the child and feel it grow.
My husband and I have also been talking about adopting through fostering. We want a young child so it might take some time to get a child that we would be able to adopt, but I feel like we could provide a good stable home.
I still am feeling pretty tearful a lot of the time. A couple of nights ago I was watching tv and the Guardisil commercial got to me. Those young ladies on the cusp of womenhood, chanting about wanting to be "one less, one less". Before I knew it, I was bawling into my blanket.