Thursday, June 26, 2008

?

After Monday nights bleeding, I stopped my meds on Wednesday. I was cramping horribly, so I popped some motrin. I was tempted to skip my beta today, but I didn't. Drs office called at 10:20 with results. It was 5. Which isn't zero. The nurse's words were "It is extremely low". It was 5 last time, and they had me stop all meds and repeat in a week. Then it was 1. Well, this time she told me to continue meds and repeat in 48 hours. And then ended the conversation with "I'm sorry". If she's sorry, why do I need bother dragging this out? We all know how it's going to end. Does this even count as pregnant? As in a chemical pregnancy? Or is this not pregnant? I'm so damn confused.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. It sounds like a chemical to me and I hate that for you. Go in for your second beta, as it will give you a better understanding of what is going on. I'm so sorry. I wish that there was something I could say to make it better.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had something beautiful, or profound, or comforting to say. I just sat here for a long time, staring at the keyboard, hoping something would come. The truth is that I have nothing to say that will ease what you're feeling at all. So, I finally decided that saying something, no matter how small, is better than saying nothing at all. So, here it is - the plain uninspiring truth:

I'm so very sorry that you're going through this. My thoughts are with you, and my heart aches for you. I love you, R, and T, and I pray that God will bring you peace in whatever situation you find yourself next. Big hugs to you.