The ball is in motion

So, we had our appt today. We have settle on our set of embryos. They are 3 day 6 blasts. Mom was 32 (donor egg) and dad was 54. The couple did get pregnant, but then miscarried. Mom (DE) has brown hair and has hazel eyes, dad grey hair and blue eyes. If all goes well, and my uterus lines us nicely, we will have our transfer on April 15th. I start Lupron injections on March 15th. So, everything is on it's way.
The day of the transfer, they will thaw two. My doctor's office only transfers two. If one or both does not survive the thaw, then they would attempt to thaw the one remaining. The thaw rate is 70% with a pregnancy rate of 35-55% depending on the age of the eggs. We will be somewhere in the middle, because the eggs aren't real young, but aren't over 35.
It was a really neat appt, because we also got to meet with the embryologist who showed us pictures of embryos at different stages and what was "good" vs. not so good. All of our embies are at least grade 2.0 because they won't freeze embryos graded less than that. Grade 1 is the best, 4 is the worst.
Our next step is to wait to hear from the mail order pharmacy. Cindy, our nurse, will call our meds in tommorrow, then the pharmacy will check with our insurance to see which (if any) meds that they will pay for. Then, the pharmacy will contact us to collect payment and mail it out to us. Cindy gave my husband a crash course in intramuscular injections. I'll be able to give myself the lupron, but he's going to have to give me the progesterones in oil (in my hiney).
I will keep everyone updated!

I'm Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a long time since I posted. Not much has happened in the past six months. Working hard, getting used to the idea of just the one child. Then, on Thursday, we recieved a call from RE's office to let us know we are a the top of the list for donor embryos! So, any day now, we will get a catalog of available embies to choose from. And, then we will choose and get started on the cycle. It's so exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. I am on Nuvaring now, and it is due to come out on March 4th. Once it comes out and I start my period, I will start BCP. We have an appt. March 6th at the clinic to sign our consents, meet with the RE to discuss the plan, and meet with the embryologist to find out what they do to thaw the embryos. Then, we also have to meet with a psychologist to determine that we are mentally sound enough. I have a meeting with my valic rep to find out what I have to do to borrow money from my 403b to finance this.
So, that's all the info I have for now. As this crazy journey continues to unfold, I plan to blog it all out for the world and for myself. If anyone has any advice on donor embryos, I would love to hear it!!

A new chapter in my life

Well, I had my surgery last week ( one week ago today actually). Dr. Hofmann said that things looked even worse than he thought they would, but that he and Dr. Barnes (the oncologist) had gotten things cleaned up pretty well. My ovary was stuck on one side to my small bowel and on the other side to my uterus. Between removing it from those things and removing the large endometrioma, I now am the proud owner of 10% of my ovary. Meaning, I will never produce eggs again. Meaning I will never have another biological child of my own. And probably will have menopause now.
So I am healing pretty well physically. I haven't had to take anything for pain for three days now. And last night I was able to sleep on my side for the first time since then. I had a pretty large blood loss and I feel really tired each day. I'm down to about one nap a day.

My repro doc appt

Eh, it went not so well. He told me that for whatever reason, at age 27, I have "galloping" endometriosis. He did an u/s and said that the endometrioma is now "only" 8.8cms but that surgery is really my only option, that it will not go away on his own. He also said he has true concerns about that when he removes it and the walls of it, that there might not be much ovarian tissue left. I may not be able to get pregnant without IVF, or even at all. He said I had a chance of having so little ovary left that it would throw me into menopause. He hopes to do it laprascopically, but depending on what he finds, and how much adhesions I have, he may have to do an open incision. At the end, he hugged me, told me he was sorry, and that life had dealt me a lousy hand. Not the encouragement I wanted. I cried for the first 45 minutes we were in the car. Then, we stopped for gas, and I went into use the bathroom. Walking out, I got a cramp in my leg, and I FELL onto the parking lot and scraped both of my knees and palms! I'm feeling a lot calmer now, but it was not the news Mr. R and I were hoping for.
And now I have all these thoughts and questions. Like:
1. So what happens if I don't have the surgery. He told me that it will not go away on it's own. But, at my first u/s in was 12.5 cms at the end of my cycle. Now it is 8.5 at mid-cycle. Could I take birth control pills or lupron to keep in smaller? And wait awhile before surgery?
2. Could we try to do IVF before removing it? Would it have any chance of success?
3. If I have surgery, what happens afterwards? What keeps me from getting another cyst? Should I go on meds afterwards to try to keep the endo under control? If I have enough ovary left to get my period, thten could we try IVF right away?
It was a bad day emotionally. I wonder sometime if I need therapy. When I brought it up
to Mr. R today, he didn't disagree. We went to Walmart this evening, and not only did I stare at the babies and pregnant bellies with envy, but every women of childbearing age that I passed, I couldn't help but be pissed about their healthy uteruses and ovaries. I seriously need help!